“Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.” – Brene Brown
“You can’t possess people, you can only experience them.” – Nipsey Hussle
Hey guys, I hope you’ve all had a good start to the week?
I had something planned to post on the blog for this week but I’ve decided to share something that’s recently been on my heart instead. Last week was such a great week for me, nothing spectacular happened but there were many moments that did so much for me mentally, emotionally and spiritually and I just thought I would share. I feel like God has been speaking to me about the relationships that I have with the people around me and what it means to be connected with people and why friendships are so important. Last week I connected with some of the people in my life in ways that were all so beautiful, just being aware of it gave me a sense of gratitude and really made me feel loved, appreciated and seen. The love being shared both ways really made me feel so grateful for the people that I have in my life and so I thought I’d share some of last week’s moments today.
My friend Jojo and I had to run some errands for a baby shower that I was planning for a friend so she came to pick me up from home. As we were in the car driving we started gushing over some of the houses we were driving past and we got into a conversation about the houses we would like to buy and what we would like them to look like and what area we would want them to be in. Then we started talking about schools for our kids and plans for the future. The conversation then lead to the set backs that we have experienced and some that we are still experiencing, we spoke about things that we are believing God for and things that have been discouraging us from taking bold steps forward. It was just such a beautiful casual conversation but so heavy at the same time, we both shared things with each other with so much trust and I was so grateful that I could not only trust her to be so vulnerable with her but she could trust me to be as vulnerable as she was with me. It was only when I was back home that I sat and thought about it and thought, wow, that was a real conversation, she’s actually one of my realest friends. Definitely a small moment that I would cherish, she probably doesn’t even know how much of a moment it was for me, it was so casual but so special.
Later in the week I had a lunch date planned with my friend Adeola, who decided to turn our lunch date into a business meeting at her workplace. We really weren’t trying to spend too much money on lunch and the weather wasn’t great, so she decided to book a meeting room and arrange a little afternoon tea situation in there for the both of us. It was so refreshing to see her in her element at work, we’ve been friends since she was 13 and I was 14, so to see her in this beautiful office in Knightsbridge was definitely a proud moment for me. She had just finished giving a presentation and was telling me all about it, I was literally smiling from ear to ear. We started to discuss plans for the rest of the year, an event that she has coming up and something that I had recently been working on. It was just nice to laugh, be silly and bounce ideas off of one another and be inspired by a real person in my daily life. Not a celebrity, or someone on social media. My actual friend that I’ve grown up with. I left light, motivated and just excited about life. Definitely another casual but special moment.
That Friday evening, another friend of mine, Tengi had a birthday dinner. She lives in Nigeria but is here on holiday and decided to celebrate her birthday with a few of her friends in London. I didn’t know everyone at the table but it was good vibes all the way through. Everyone was actually in conversation, we spoke about so many things, from interracial dating, to home schooling our children, our careers and loads of random other things. Hardly anybody was on their phone, it was just nice to be present and actually experience others, listen and learn different ideas and concepts and enjoy everyone’s company.
And finally, on Sunday I planned a baby shower for a friend of mine, Lamide, which went pretty well and looked so cute if do say so myself! I asked for everyone to share a moment that they had shared with Lamide, as everyone was going round and sharing, I thought of so many moments that were so special to me. I realised that she had been there for me in many ways in the few years we have known each other and it just felt really good to be able to do something that shows how special she is to me and to the many other people that were there yesterday.
I say all of that to say that, we can have casual friendships with people and we can have deeply rooted friendships also. Sometimes when we have been friends with people for so long, we can take people for granted. I think we need to become more intentional with our friendships, actually seek to be there for one another and actually enjoy each other. Allowing each other to be vulnerable and share, the good and the bad. Friendships like these are rare these days but they are so special. I think many of us want to be seen, valued and heard and we try to get that in many different ways. Social media being one. Whilst we can connect with people online and its great, a lot of the time I feel it isn’t really enough because we can package ourselves so nicely online, so I feel sometimes it may not really be authentic. We really need to spend time cultivating real connections with the real people in our lives that experience us fully and allow ourselves to be vulnerable with them – I think it is then that we will really feel seen, heard and understood. Many of us like to act like we don’t need people or we feel everyone can not be trusted, but there are good people out there and hopefully we find the right ones to trust. There is something about connecting with people that is so beautiful. Having people around you that you can be vulnerable with is everything. The moments that I had with people this week just gone, really did something inside me. Being around some great people and great vibes, having honest open conversations. It really did something deep inside me, I can’t really explain it. All I can say is I am grateful for friendship, relationships, vulnerability and deeply rooted connections.